….arts and music; my medium of expression

What am I going to do about us?

leave a comment »

Wow! It’s so sad to be back on the island relative to the time spent away from it. But it’s better to face ones’ fears than to run away for it. I really hope I got over you while away but then It’s not going to be fair knowing my fate with you. I know I love but can’t be in love with you. But what do you feel about me. Many say, we have a circle of friendship and we both fall in that circles. Some say you might love me but might not be in love with me. Others say, you might be in love with me but might not be strong enough to express it. 

The differences are clear. The jungle law really rules supreme on the island – “spot for spot, and stripes for stripes.” Unfortunately I’m one of both while you the other. I’m spot while you stripe or vice versa. But then evolution ve revolution always gives room for a once in a while opportunity for what a scientist would call a mixed breed but a mathematician – an anomaly. To a believer, it’s just a miracle or to a realist – a mystery. And if nothing is for certain, my feeling for you is of all these characteristics.

I’m back to the island and got to hear your side of the story. I though I could shut it out. I was drunk in distraction and wild-living these days that past but now I am sober and reality flashes before me. I went int circles only to come back to the point to seeing you, not as I left you but as I want you. You stood right there waiting, even when I chose to walk away. But then the dilemma sets in. What are you waiting for? Or better still, who are you waiting for?

A friend you have always had or a lover you have always wanted. A friend you had always seen, or a lover you have always dreamed of. A friend you had always danced with, or a lover you want to sing with. A friend that you have always helped, or a lover whose help you need. A friend you had always loved, or a lover you want to be in love with.

I need to hear you say it. I need to see make a choice. I need to know the truth. I am tired of hearsay. I am tired of assuming and scheming. I am tired of wanting to know what you think. I am tired of using the yardstick to measure the probabilities of events occurring. I am tired of listening to myself talk about what could or could not be. I need you to spit out those words. I need you to tell me.  I need you to save me. I need to end this or start that. 

Happuna! Csuness!

Written by Nubi Kayode

April 26, 2009 at 09:46

Posted in Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: